Saturday, February 25, 2012

And, just like that, I'm back

After a long day that at the time seemed to go very slowly but really went by pretty fast, I'm back in the States. Yes, I have been back twice during my service, but this time there is a sense of permanence because I will not be going back to Guatemala. The tears started coming as the plane got ready to take off and lasted through when I imagined Guatemala to end and Mexico to begin under the plane (probably about half an hour). I successfully kept most of it in so the people next to me wouldn't think I was an emotional wreck, but the truth is I kind of was an emotional wreck. I knew I wasn't going to be super happy in the States after living in Guatemala. The feeling kind of started at the airport when everyone circled around the people checking us into the plane and made it difficult for anyone outside of their circle to get in. I am talking about this literally, but it could also work as a metaphor. Anyway, despite the fact that we all had assigned seats and the flight people were calling us by groups clearly marked on our tickets, people did not have the patience to sit down and wait for their group to be called. It reminded me of Guatemala, especially my town on market day, when people will make a tight circle around the front and back doors of the bus so they can push their way in when it comes time, making it extremely difficult for the people getting off the bus, so that they can get a seat. There are no assigned seats so it makes sense first come first served. But in this instance, they were calling us in groups to have an organized filing onto the plane. Of course the girl in front of me in line was in a group they hadn't called yet, but when confronted she didn't care, insisting that it should be her turn too, she had waited around enough time and group four was close enough to group 5 anyway. This is an attitude I know I'm not going to like, but it's one I will have to get used to.

After arriving in Dallas and waiting to board my flight to Cleveland, a few times I remembered just how things work in Guatemala. There was a moment after using the bathroom when I had no idea what to do with the toilet paper. I glanced around for a trash can and, not finding one, remembered that our plumbing can handle a small piece of toilet paper. Then, after washing my hands, I waited for them to fully dry before eating my crackers. This is necessary in Guatemala due to there being fecal matter and parasites in the tap water and eating with wet hands may just make you sick. But here in the States, it doesn't matter if I eat with wet hands, or drink a nice glass of cold tap water with ice (which was delicious, but the way). It's just simple little things like this that will slowly help me insert myself back into life in the States but also remind me daily of what I left behind. For the next week, the biggest reminder will be the itchy giant bedbug bites I have all over my body, much worse than the last time I got them. My stuff is once again quarantined in the garage and I will have to deal with it all today, figuring out which stuff I can roast in the dryer (yay-dryer) and which stuff I will have to bag up for 6 months to a year.

It's good to be back with my family, and the heating is kind of nice, especially because my first sight stepping out of the airport at Cleveland was a bunch of snowflakes flying by. And this morning I woke up to see snow on the roofs and a little on the ground. So it's pretty cold out there, but at least I saw snow this year. And there's this super fast internet, which will inevitably turn out to be a time waster. But I have time, for the first time in a while. I always had a ton of stuff to do right up until the very last day in the country, where I was running around to get everyone's signatures to sign off on my COS (Close of Service) tasks. But now I can just leisurely sit here, read a book, surf the web, maybe run errands with my mom later (I figure shock therapy is best to treat my culture shock, so off to a sale at Khol's for a new iron). We'll see. I guess I'll keep writing about life in the States and thoughts and feelings on that front.

For my friends in Guatemala, enjoy the time you have left. It really is a treasure (I know, kind of sentimental and cliched, but how things really are). And enjoy the warm weather, fresh mangoes, and low prices. And everything else.

Take care, God's blessings, and I'm off to itch my bedbug bites.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

8

It's really kind of interesting that I find time to write blog entries despite this crazy wrapping up I have to do here. I have two schools left to visit, lots of neighbors and other community members to say goodbye to, packing, paperwork to fill out and reports to write. This blog has clearly become my procrastination crutch, offering me something to do when I run out of facebook updates or videos to watch on youtube. Saying goodbye to everyone is what takes so long. And I have to make sure I say bye to everyone or else in five years or so they will be telling whatever volunteer/gringo finds their way here that there was once a gringa (they might remember my name, or perhaps call me Ingrid like some of the kids did today) but she never said goodbye. And most people go into a bit of a tangent of how great we were, leaving our country and our family to spend time here in Guatemala, where life is really hard and there is a lot of crime and insecurity. Really though, this was my dream and I loved it here.

I did not, however, love the school visit we did today. We saved the worst schools for last just to make sure we could visit our best/favorite schools. And the visit didn't go super smoothly. Teachers were out and about wandering around, so they weren't in the classroom to help control the kids. Five classrooms didn't even have a teacher at school, so the principal was running back and forth between these classrooms. And the kids would just sit and stare at us like we were speaking jibberish. It isn't like we never visited this school. Overall, not a good visit. Hopefully we can make up for it with a good visit tomorrow, which I would feel better about if the principal would actually answer my phone to let me know whether or not there are classes tomorrow.

So today was the last time up and down the mountain. No more beautiful views of Xela and Olinte from up in the mountains to the north. Also today was probably the last time I will do English exchange with my friend Astrid. We watched You've Got Mail today (one of the few movies I have with English subtitles). I will miss our daily cooking/movie/talking interactions. And there was even a temblor today, maybe the last I will feel here in Guatemala. I have a night ahead of me filled with more sorting and packing, and some writing of post cards to send out when I stop by the post office in Xela tomorrow after another despedida, this time at my favorite Indian restaurant (for the second time this week!). And the last day of work as a Healthy Schools Volunteer. I may shed a few tears--I've been feeling a little emotionally unstable lately.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

9

Ate some Japanese food with my Guatemalan friend Astrid today and it was quite delicious. I had some beef with eggplant and bell peppers in a curry sauce, accompanied by fried rice and miso soup. Too bad I didn't know about this restaurant earlier. I'm sure I would have spent lots of money there.

As far as work today, we met with the directors to introduce them to our replacement--Miguel. I forgot to mention this earlier--we're getting replaced!!! After the sad news that Peace Corps wouldn't be sending new volunteers here, Yuna and I kind of despaired that our work would just kind of putter out and die without a little bit of a force (through the PC volunteer) moving it along. Things have been kind of sustainable, but it takes more than two years to bring about lasting change. So when we heard that there was a possibility that volunteers already in country that would be forced to move from their sites would have the option to stay in country and move into sites already developed, we contacted our bosses and pretty much begged them to send someone. After lots of running around checking out houses, cutting down our list of schools from 21 to 12, making sure the security situation was still good, etc. we were told we would be replaced! Which means that there will be someone around working with Healthy Schools for the next year, and also means that we have a good chance of getting a replacement in 2013 after Miguel leaves. This is really such good news and makes me feel a little better about leaving. Also almost cried during the directors' meeting because our counterpart said such nice things about us and pretty much demanded that directors step up and take control of the project. This just goes to prove that he has actually been listening to us. He even put the spotlight on the schools we had mentioned were the best, even though he's biased against some of them.

Also had a lovely activity with the Preschool in the center of town that we love working with. All of the teachers are super fun and nice and sweet and they invited us to their anniversary celebration today. They celebrate their anniversary every year, so it wasn't something super out of the ordinary (today was celebrating year 23), but they included a really sweet, heart-felt despedida for Yuna and me. They talked about how we introduced them to rincones de salud, how we motivated them to make things better for the kids, how the work was hard but that it was worth all the effort, all of this in front of lots of parents and all the kids. Then they gave us these really beautiful purses made out of traje.

And I saw one of my favorite girls today. I used to see her all the time with her grandmother, who came into the center of town to buy bread and then carry up the giant hill to the community where they were living to sell it. She called out my name and of course her grandma was happy to greet us. After saying we were leaving, she looked sad and genuinely wished us well and gave us God's blessings. I am going to miss how genuine people are here--she really meant what she said. And I really will remember her and miss her and her granddaughter. I am feeling emotional just writing about it.

Things are winding down. I will leave site early Monday morning, so I really only have two more days of work, and three schools to visit in those two days. Hopefully the rumors aren't true and there won't be a meeting on Friday. I guess if there is a meeting and our last visit is cancelled, it would kind of bring this crazy two years full circle. It is Guatemala after all, and things are likely to change for the worse at the last moment.   Luckily for us we've already visited all of our favorite/best schools!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

10

Sight of the day: The little girl in the seat in front of me on the bus today was playing with a Barbie doll dressed in traje that I assume her mom made out of some scraps. It warmed my heart. I love it when I see the culture living so visibly through the children. Hopefully the beautiful skirt and blouse that the women here will not die out with future generations (although all signs point to this as the reality).

Today was the last market day I will have in town. I only bought some avocados (three giant ones for Q10=$1.25 mas o menos). I also made some funfetti cupcakes with a friend and stopped by my favorite Q1 one last time and found some shirts and belts. One of my bags is packed and is ready to head into the office tomorrow on one of the shuttles. Ten days left. It's starting to look a little sad in my room. Good thing I have some roses in here to cheer things up a little bit. And some dark chocolate to eat.


Monday, February 13, 2012

Last week in site

Just finished a delicious lunch of pasta with tomatoes, carrots and husquil mixed with tomato sauce and cheese. And now it's raining. We had a few nice days in there, but the rain is back.

I had a pretty great weekend. Saturday morning we ate out with the wife of the pastor of the church we go to in Xela. She's from the States so we've gotten to know each other. This was our despedida (good-bye). She treated us to a really good breakfast at a Mexican restaurant (Los Cebollines), where we also briefly met the new mayor of Xela who was eating with a group of people. Martha, a Guatemalan friend we've worked with for various different activities, invited us over for a despedida. She didn't mention that it was her birthday, but we ended up celebrating with two of her friends and they were really fun people. Martha made a really good lunch of fish (b-something? not sure the name), a salad and rice. We hung out and talked and also had the opportunity to visit the first greenhouse in the Xela area growing roses. Martha's cousins are in charge and one of them showed us around, showing us the different varieties they grow and answering our questions. I bought a dozen red roses for only a little over $3-good deal! Then we went back to the house and ate some delicious coconut cake and headed back home. Sunday we went to church and then headed in to Cemaco to meet some friends from town to look at toaster ovens. The family really likes to bake and want to get a mini oven so that they can actually make something. Then we all headed over for some delicious Indian food at Sabor de la India, where we stuffed ourselves with naan rellena, pollo tandoori, rice with yogurt and cashews and fried tortillas, topped off with a mango yogurt smoothie.

We've been running around like crazy to visit all of our 21 schools before next Monday, which is when I leave site for good. Most mornings we schedule 2 schools and things have worked out well so far-only one cancellation. We saved our worst schools for this week and these are also schools that take a bit longer to get to, so today was just one school visit. The government apparently decided to buy school supplies for the kids (again) so today was a crazy day to visit the school. Most of the teachers were out and about trying to figure out the school supply situation, which meant that kids were also out and about because there was no discipline going on. We managed to visit all 19 classroom in less than 2 hours, but it was a little frustrating getting all of the kids together and trying to find the teacher. Then we finished everything up just as a parent and teacher meeting got underway. We got a few different stories about when the bus would pass and ended up waiting an hour and a half to get on the bus back into town. And then my delicious lunch followed by some dark chocolates I splurged on in Cemaco. I think I'm feeding my emotions with junk food. Just another 11 days (!) of stress eating and then I'll be filling up on all of the good foods I miss from the States.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Falling in Puddles

It rained for the fourth time today. Seriously, is the rainy season already here? Anyway, I was at my friend Astrid's house for a baking lesson. She and her cousin, being Guatemalans, never really made cakes, cookies, pies, breads, etc. before and they really wanted to learn. So far we've made sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, chocolate brownies with frosting, strawberry cheesecake brownies, rice krispie treats, and chocolate cake. Today was a lesson in how to make zucchini bread. I kind of freaked out in the market in Xela the other day over finding zucchini and eggplant and started gushing about how good zucchini bread was, so she bought three zucchini and today we made something she never imagined existed. She thought it was so weird to make bread out of a vegetable. Anyway, we made enough batter for two loaves and had just finished turning on the gas oven when the rain hit. I remembered pretty much right away that the window in my room was open for some fresh air and I hadn't closed it because there was no evidence of rain in the sky when I had left just half an hour before. I didn't mention anything because I thought the rain would stop. Instead, it got stronger and after confessing to Astrid that I was worried about finding a flood in my room, she got a worried look on her face and told me to hurry home. I translated that literally and was practically running with my umbrella held high and clutching my purse to my chest so it wouldn't flop about outside of my umbrella's protection. I was almost home free when I came up short before a large puddle continuously emptying into a stream of water. I made the quick decision to back up a little and move to the side to avoid the river. My feet decided not to follow my brain and instead slipped right into the giant puddle while the rest of my body followed suit. At least my hands lept out to keep me from falling face first, getting wet and full of dirty run-off water (imagine streets filled with garbage including dirty diapers and the remains of lots of food, as well as the poop of animals ranging from cats and dogs to cows and sheep, and the urine of lots of men who don't mind public exposure). My left leg meanwhile fell into the giant puddle just as my purse was swinging forward towards the water. This happened in a matter of seconds. I didn't get hurt or anything. I just got up looking slightly like I was a stumbling bolo. There weren't a ton of people around to witness my embarrassment because almost everyone was holed up at home. The women selling vegetables kind of made an incredulous gesture at me and I just waved and ran off trying to act like nothing had happened despite the giant wet spot running down my left leg.

It was hilarious. I was even laughing at myself. Of course being one of the town's gringas, everyone who saw me knows just who it was that fell down in the rain. It was also one of those moments that you had to be there to really get the hilarity of it all. Just thought I'd share my super klutzy moment of the day.

Only 18 days left! (and that's an exclamation point both of surprise, excitement and sadness, if an exclamation can convey all that)

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Lots of lasts

No Superbowl for me. I could watch it on the t.v. I have in my room, but I'm really not feeling like it. So instead, I've been sitting here, listening to the hail and rain hit the plastic roof down the hallway (we've had some crazy weather the past three days), thinking about life--what's been going on and what's coming up.

We've started our last visits to schools. This is where the melancholy hits. Knowing that I will soon leave this world I have become familiar with and go back to a world that I was familiar with is both exciting and depressing. I go through moments of extreme sadness, one that hit me while I was walking through the city the other day. I know my way around here--I know how to navigate the streets of town, what to say to people to start a conversation off right, where to go for the best tortillas, which woman on market day has the best produce. I feel so confident in my ability to live here in Guatemala and it's something that was a bit difficult to come by. And now that I'm an expert, it's hard to let it go again, to lose all that I have gained. But it's time. And since it's time, I'm always thinking in my head whether or not it's the last time I'm doing this or that. I bought toilet paper for the last time, I ate at the Chinese restaurant and the comedor in town for the last time, I washed some clothes by hand for the last time, I stopped by the police station for the last time (just to ask how things were going in town). This list will be growing in the next two weeks as I buy my last recarga for my cell phone or eat my last avocado. It's just hard to close everything up.

Several months back I was thinking of staying. Sometimes I wish I could stay. But so much has changed in the past six months. My host sister passed away, someone broke into my house forcing me to move out, living with my host family has slowly turned from something great to a very awkward situation, and Peace Corps Guatemala is going through some big changes, changes that will tear volunteers from their communities and challenge those left in Guatemala to adapt to even more new things over the next several months. I also have something to go back to-law school. It will be a (very expensive) challenge, but I feel like it's the right next step. I was thinking about law school before Peace Corps and it still seems like the next logic step for me and I'm pretty excited. I always wanted to work with human rights and the law seems like a good medium to turn to for human rights work. We'll see. Anyway, everything points to me going and that's what I'll be doing in less than three weeks. Between then and now, there's a lot of work to do to close up things here--14 schools to visit, neighbors to say good-bye to, paperwork to wrap up, reports to write, (hopefully) a new volunteer to introduce to our site, a pile of crap to pack up, doctor's appointments to go to. And most of this in the two weeks I have left actually in my site. That's part of the reason I haven't updated so much lately--lots to do and not much time to do it in.

Anyway, still plugging away here in Guatemala. Just wanted to share some thoughts as I go into the home stretch. I did some calculations recently and all told, Guatemala has been home for the past 750+ days. I spent some days in the U.S., but that was mainly just as a tourist. There are only 19 more days left. I'm going to try to make the most of it while running around between errands and meetings. I have more mangoes and avocado to eat and a few more English conversations to have with my friend Astrid. I'll try focusing more on the things coming up to keep myself a little more positive.