Am I really worth it?

I read an article recently about how a Congressman is rallying fellow democrats and returned Peace Corps volunteers to campaign against budget cuts. Peace Corps receives about $400 million, and some republicans in Congress would like to cut this budget by $26 million. Meanwhile, the Peace Corps budget, including the $40 million increase Obama has proposed, accounts for 0.01 percent of the U.S. budget. Read more about the situation here.

I couldn't sleep thinking about this, especially after reading some of the comments people were leaving at the bottom of the article. (One comment reads: "Typical moonbats. Stop caring for people who won't care for themselves. Simply bomb those countries out of existence and all the problems are solved. The Army and the Navy get work and we rid the world of bloodsuckers; win-win.") It pains me to see people showing such unconcern for the well-being of people in other nations. I just want to express some personal thoughts and maybe convince some people to take a stand for peace and rally behind the Peace Corps.

The U.S. is a great nation. I am usually proud to be an American and realize how fortunate I am to have been born in the States. I have especially come to see how much of a blessing it has been since moving here to Guatemala. I received a decent public education, enjoyed a well-stocked library, ate food and took medications that were likely inspected and approved by some government agency, sent mail without worrying about if it would make it to its destination, could count on the fire department to respond in an emergency in a timely fashion, etc. all thanks to having a government that can provide for my well-being. Guatemalans and other people living in developing nations can't count on these things. (Just a note-in saying 'developing nation' I don't mean to imply anything about inferiority. I'm simply using a translation of what some Spanish speakers from these countries have used with me-un país en vias de desarrollo). Many don't have access to roads, electricity, water, etc. Why are they in this state? Is it because they are lazy? Are they ignorant of how to advance? Do they just not care?Well, that's not really the case. Guatemalans are some of the hardest working people I know. Women literally work all day. They have to gather wood, some have to travel to collect water, they make all three meals for their families, they constantly wash clothes and clean the house, sometimes they work in a store or sell in the market. Guatemalans also generally have an idea of where they want to be (typically they envision a life like the Americans they see on the television screen) but they aren't always sure of the many routes to improve their life (or the danger of living like an American). Moreover, their government doesn't have the capacity as ours does to help out with the process. And yes they care. Parents want the best for their children. Parents will sacrifice everything so their child can have a better, easier, happier, healthier life than the one they have led. They scrimp and save to send kids to private schools in hopes that it will help them in the future, and when that doesn't happen (because there are no jobs), they despair again and continue looking to immigration as the only way out. Development is so multi-faceted and complex, I don't really have the space (or the attention span) to spend a long time explaining it here. I myself don't even know that much about the topic-mainly I know what I have witnessed in my time abroad and what I have read in books or talked about in classes. There are many reasons a country gets left behind and people find themselves without things we take for granted every day. Perhaps there was a bloody civil war, or ethnic tensions that led to a regression in the living situation of people. Perhaps one president was overthrown and a military general took his place and started persecuting a group of people, leading to terror and lack of progress in society. Maybe it's geography-a country that falls victim to several tropical storms/hurricanes a year or faces other natural disasters (mudslides, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes) frequently. Whatever the reason, let's not blame the people for their situation. In fact, in some cases our own beloved America is to blame. Especially learning the history of Latin America, one will hear of the countless times our government/military (are they one and the same?) intervening in democratic elections to replace a government who perhaps wasn't super friendly with U.S. interests with a government who would actively repress many in his country to favor U.S. interests over the interests of his own people. Or also to suppress an uprising led by the people against a government they did not support so that a government that favored the States would remain in office. U.S. intervention has happened in Guatemala, Nicaragua, Haiti, Cuba, etc. I don't have time to give the specifics of each instance, but feel free to look it up on wikipedia or in a book. I'm not going to say all intervention is bad (though it almost always is), but in many cases our past leaders contributed to impeding the development of these countries. And don't even get me started on the carbon footprint of the U.S. versus that of Guatemala and countries in a similar situation. People here almost always take public transportation, don't buy as many packaged products, don't watch as much t.v. or sit in front of a computer as much, don't buy new clothes every month, etc. Yes, there are ways in which Guatemala contributes to climate change and contamination of the environment, but our own impact as consumer-oriented Americans is much, much larger. And who is suffering more for the climate changes we are seeing, who is more vulnerable? In America, we can take a few hits and keep on going. In Guatemala a few years ago, there was a drought and corn didn't grow as well, so people went without food. Last year there was too much rain, so again corn crops were destroyed and some people had to do without. Chronic malnutrition here is already high, and I imagine this just gets much worse when changes brought about by climate change ruin corn yields. Some of these changes are natural, but I think we're beyond calling climate change a theory and to the stage of accepting that it is indeed causing changes in our world today.

Here are a few questions I have been asking myself throughout my service, and moreso lately.

What do we owe people living in other countries? Should we help them lead better lives? Should we spread ideas and encourage them to implement their own ideas or motivate them to demand improvements in their well-being? I believe that we should look out for our fellow global citizens. Yes, maybe I am an idealist who is too in love with the world. But I was taught to help those who are less fortunate than me. Peace Corps has given me the opportunity to do this. I hope that people can show love over selfishness and it harms me to see that so many people refuse to believe that promoting the well-being of people is worth the money. Also, it's not always about altruism-helping people can help us too. For example, here in Guatemala people burn their trash, all the time. These chemicals are moving into the atmosphere and help add to the chemicals released from wood-burning fires throughout the developing world. If people are taught how to properly dispose of trash, which types can be burnt and which no, how to use stoves/cooking techniques to use less wood (all things that Peace Corps works on), this would improve the lot for the rest of us.

What is my impact? I don't mean to brag, but with my partner, I am directly impacting the lives of 5,630 children (I just crunched the numbers) who we talk about health and revise hygiene with, in addition to the 250 teachers and directors we work with on a daily basis. I have also talked to hundreds of parents, and have worked to support other volunteers and the NGO in town with workshops to educate more teachers or students about things like HIV/AIDS, trash management, environmental degradation, etc. Not everyone I work directly with will change their lives. Some kids won't brush their teeth no matter how many times I tell them it's important. I mean, I am just a crazy gringa. But I think it's a bargain that the image of the United States sending help to Guatemala is being spread to all these people for the low price of under $4,000 a year. Spread that around the 300+ million people who live in the States and that is a very low contribution. I know I'm only one volunteer and there are thousands like me who have finished their time or who are currently working or in the process of applying to be a volunteer. But when you look at the impact this $4,000 is having, the U.S. government is spending less than $1.00 per person per year to improve the lives of these people.

Is what I am doing sustainable? In other words, is this a good investment that will last past the end of my service? That's a tricky question. I am fully aware of sustainability and do what I can to make my work sustainable. Peace Corps is facing severe budget cuts, and we already know that we won't have as many people working in my program in the future, so the reality is that volunteers won't always be here to lead these programs. This is why I work more with teachers than with students. I motivate the teachers, show them how to actively teach health education, encourage them to implement their ideas and use their creativity to build a healthier school. I have also been able to pinpoint leaders in each school, teachers who have taken a very active role in Healthy Schools and who are truly implementing changes in their classrooms and schools. I will rely on these teachers to continue my work when I am not here. At the beginning of this year, teachers automatically knew that they had to have their rincones de salud up and needed to start practicing habits. Lots of people found their own ways to fund projects without even telling us or asking us for money. I truly believe that if Peace Corps had to pull out from Guatemala tomorrow, the project would keep going to some extent. Some schools would probably stop doing what we are asking them to do, but the majority, I believe, would continue to fight for a healthier school. So yes, I believe that at least some of the work I am doing here is sustainable.

Why not make it private, non-profit based instead of supported by the government? Well, I don't know a lot about running private NGOs that would be able to work on the scale that Peace Corps does. Also, why shouldn't our government help other nations? Also, many NGOs have failed at development work and aren't really doing a better job then we at Peace Corps are. Also, Peace Corps helps benefit the image of the U.S. abroad. Some Guatemalans believed that Americans were snobby and suffered from a superiority-complex, but we are trying to show that we aren't all mean-hearted people out only for our own good. This can help ease tensions when negotiating trade or other multi-national agreements. It also leads less people to participate in violence against the States or Americans abroad. I can honestly say I would feel safer traveling in a country where Peace Corps participation has been widespread because we do send a positive message to people that we do care about their well-being. Not all Peace Corps volunteers present a positive image, but I think most of us do. If the work we are doing would be privatized, I don't think the U.S. would get the same image boost.

What to cut if we don't cut Peace Corps? Another hard question. Who is less deserving? Which programs are not effective? Or, how can we raise more money? I strongly promote raising taxes of the richest Americans or at least improving the taxing system to more fairly tax the richest. They receive huge tax breaks that they do not need. I know, I know. They worked hard for their money, why can't they keep it? Well, the simple fact is that many people making millions of dollars are taxed at a lower rate than the rest of us. See an article in the New York Times written by Warren Buffett recently for more details. Also, defense can probably be cut. Even just a little bit would go a LONG way to reduce our debt. In the article I reference in the beginning of this blog post, it is mentioned that the entire Peace Corps mission in Sierra Leone costs the same as sending one soldier to Afghanistan. $700 billion to build more nuclear weapons? Is that necessary? Is that something we really want? I know deterrence worked during the Cold War, but $700 billion? That's a lot of money. I know promoting peace and human development doesn't work with most crazy warlords, but is building a giant nuclear arsenal really how to deal with the problem? Also, I support our troops. I know they still lack important equipment to promote their safety. But what are we accomplishing still fighting in this long, dragged-out war? We have already wasted so many lives and so much money on fighting and haven't seen much from this heavy cost. Reduce our military presence and save a ton of money that can be used for peaceful means of promoting peace and democracy.

Phew. My hands hurt and my head is fuzzy. These again are just some thoughts. They might not be well thought out because I was kind of running on rage and now I'm just exhausted and ready for bed (not to mention I have a cold). Sorry if I insult someone or say something that really makes you angry in response to my anger. I just wanted to give my perspective on things. If you feel as strongly about Peace Corps being a worthwhile investment as I do, write to your Congressman and tell them not to cut our budget. I already have my letter typed up (and it wasn't in a fit of rage) that I will send out the first chance I get.

Thanks for making it through this large post. I'm sure there's a lot that I want to mention but that my brain is refusing to think of right now. Hopefully I won't regret writing this in the morning and I hope it doesn't sound too angry/unrealistic/etc. Maybe I am just too much of an idealistic hippy after all. I apologize for any grammatical mistakes, misspellings, etc. I also apologize for not doing the proper research to complement this article-I am simply lazy and tired. And feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts. As always, I hope life is going well and I wish you a "feliz fin de semana" (Happy weekend!).

Photos of Mayan women

Here's an article with some great photos from the Associated Press: Vintage box camera portrays Mayan women. One of the girls pictured is from my town. Though the black and white photographs are really quite beautiful, it doesn't show the beautiful colors of Mayan women's dress. But I think that sometimes the vibrant colors distract from the face, which is the centerpiece of each photo here.

Just wanted to share it with you all. Have a great afternoon/evening!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Well, not really. I'm not athletically inclined enough to score many goals. But one thing you have to do at least once while living in a Latin American country (or pretty much anywhere in the world where fútbol is king) is play a game of soccer with some kids. I've done this a few times while here and every experience is different. You don't need a real soccer ball or a net. All you need is something passing as a ball and a few sticks to serve as markers for where the goal will be. The field can be anywhere there is some open space. It doesn't have to be flat or free of cow pies. And I found myself playing soccer today, and failing pretty miserably at it. But it was fun and the kids enjoyed having a silly gringa playing worse than they were playing. I made a very few good plays and aimed the ball toward the goal a few times (it almost went in once!) but didn't manage to make any goals. My team did win though, and the score was pretty lopsided (12-1), but that's probably because the teams were pretty lopsided. I was on the team with the girls, but we also had two of the better boy players and outnumbered the boys two to one. I was actually leaving the school when I saw them playing and they asked me to join. Now this wasn't a normal soccer game. No one played specific positions, there were no offsides calls or rules against tripping people. The boundaries of the field were also not specified-a corn field to one side was pretty clearly stipulated as one boundary, but the other boundary moved into a cow's grazing territory as well as a dropoff of about half a foot from the rest of the field. But I figured things out pretty quickly. My first attempt to move the ball to our goal was pretty disastrous. One of the boys on my team called out 'Seño' and since I was the only Seño around I received the pass from him pretty gracefully, but the field sloped down to our goal and I misjudged just how steep this slope was so I kicked the ball and tripped myself up, falling on my right leg and rolling onto my stomach, getting a nice grass stain down the side of my pants in the process. But we all laughed at the funny, clumsy Seño Cristina and went on our way. They were a little more wary of passing me the ball after that incident though. The game was interrupted several times. There was one freestyle gymnastics moment, when kids asked if I could do a somersault or a cartwheel and were impressed when I could. There were several incidences of girls chasing boys and vice versa when one would make a comment that would upset the other, which would end in a tussle in the grass and cries from the others of "Beso, beso!" (kiss, kiss!). No kisses were exchanged though. There were also several incidences when the ball would fly into another game that was going on, or when the ball got caught under the cow feeding in the middle of our field. Three times the girls essentially stopped playing to ask me how to say some things in English. There were also two episodes of unexplained crying (coming from the boys of course). And then the end of the school day interrupted us and, an hour after my intended exit from this community, I made my way back up the hill (this is one of the several schools I go to where you have to walk uphill both ways) and then back down to catch the bus to the center of town. It was an awesome way to end the visit.

Sorry if this post is a little disjointed. I was trying my hand at a little stream of consciousness while recalling this memory. Just wanted to share my fun experience of the day.

Dairy Queen in Guatemala?

Yup, that's right. DQ is coming to Guatemala!! Although they are opening 15 stores by 2015 and will unlikely open one in my area in the next year or so, I can still hope, right? I don't usually go for fast food but there's something about being here in Guatemala that makes me crave McDonald's or Wendy's all the time. Maybe it's the lack of meat in my diet, or the fact that cooking for myself has gotten kind of old, perhaps because quickly prepared mass quantities of food really is delicious. I was super happy to know I will living within a 30 minute trip of a Wendy's, but Dairy Queen would just be so much better. When I was home in June I stopped at Dairy Queen at least twice to get Blizzard cravings out of my system, but there are still days once in a while when I can't help but think of some delicious soft-serve mixed with bits of a Heath bar or Reese's peanut butter cups (am I making anyone hungry?). I may soon be able to drag myself into the city to enjoy some delicious DQ soon, though I am a realist and I fully realize that a Dairy Queen will probably open near my site the week after I COS. Oh well. At least it will be a win for Guatemala.

A good start

Just read an article from the BBC about a recent ruling against four military officers who took part in a massacre during Guatemala's "armed conflict" (which is what they call it here). These four men received life in prison (terms of over 6000 years, or 30 years for each of the 200+ people who died during the massacre). This is a good start to bringing about some justice and hopefully will show that people will not be exempt from standing trial for human rights abuses that happened decades ago. Hopefully the impunity can end now and a more open dialogue can start up, beginning with the current presidential candidate ahead in the polls, Pérez Molina, who was a member of the military in the 1980s and 1990s. I guess we'll see what happens, but this is good news for Guatemala.

That's all for now. I feel some gripe (a cold) coming on so I should probably try to get some extra sleep to try to fight it off. Feliz noche!

An ending, some trash and more rain

Last week was super busy. That's going to be my excuse for why I haven't updated in a little while. I had three workshops, traveled to three new places, and visited my largest school (23 teachers, 770 students). But everything went pretty well.

Before I get to updates about my life, I am just going to go off on a mini tangent and talk about something that has been part of my life for thirteen years now, more than half of my life. That would be Harry Potter. I remember reading the first book in sixth grade after my science teacher recommended it. I loved it. I don't even remember my first reaction to it other than pure fascination with this whole new world of magic. I loved fantasy and magic-The Hobbit was probably my favorite book at that point in my life, or perhaps the Redwall books, or maybe Tamora Pierce books. But Harry Potter totally gripped me in a way a book had never done before. I can't claim that it made me love reading-I was already in love with books. But it made me think about things, discuss details, learn more about an imaginary world. In high school, after The Half-Blood Prince came out, my friends and I met to discuss it. What were the other horcruxes? Was Dumbledore really dead? Was Snape good or evil? The final book came out the summer before my junior year of college and I got the book the day it came out in the mail from Amazon and devoured it within ten hours or so. That kind of ended it for me. There were still movies to come out, but the movies never meant much to me. I would read the books over and over again while I would watch the movie once or twice and be done with it. I did see the first half of the final movie here in Guatemala, dubbed in Spanish unfortunately, and it was pretty good. So I guess I was looking forward to the final movie, mainly just to see the screen representation of something that I really loved. I didn't think I would love the movie, but I did. Maybe it was my emotions running away with me, maybe it was reliving the satisfying end to this incredible series, maybe it really was a good movie. The movie really brought it all to a close of sorts for me. I will continue reading the books and there's always the hope that J.K. Rowling will write more books based around this world, but I have to accept that this might be all there is. I laughed, I cried, I called a good friend long distance to talk about it after it was all over. And then I went on with my life. The bus broke down on the way home so I got home late and walked up the giant hill in the dark. Then I had dishes to do, a house to tidy up, a different book to work on. It's been a great thirteen years and I'm looking forward to the day when I can introduce Harry Potter to my kids. That's all I really have to say on this subject. Yes, I know I'm 24 now, long past the years of adolescent fandom and obsession over silly things, but I really feel like I grew up with Harry. So humor me a little and don't judge me for gushing one more time about this. I won't mention it again in this post.

So on with the real world. A super pilas NGO works out of the center of my town and we've been working together on trash management stuff and on writing a new environmental education manual for middle school teachers. They asked us to help with a workshop focused on trash management, water and forests on Monday and Friday with teachers from three different school districts in my department. It was the second in a series of four, and the first taller (workshop-sometimes I just write the Spanish word because it sounds better to me, so sorry if it gets confusing) had been run by the Ministry of Environment and Natural Resources (MARN-Ministerio de Ambiente y Recursos Naturales) and apparently it, like most other workshops teachers attend throughout the year, was very boring. So Helvetas/Probosques, the NGO, asked us to prepare an activity for trash management. We had a few activities that we used in a workshop for our teachers in June so we did a trash timeline with the teachers. The first part of the workshop involved touring the local river to see what condition it was in. I wasn't surprised to find trash everywhere, inside the river and along the riverbank. Parts of the river were orange due to chemical runoff from the fields-farmers often receive free fertilizers at the beginning of planting season. Despite the obviously poor conditions of the river, women were washing their clothes in it, children were playing in it, cows and sheep were drinking from it. So we talked about how the river used to be, how it is now, and how people want to see it in the future. Then we had the timeline activity where teachers used trash they had collected from the river and had to guess how long it takes certain types of trash to decompose. Then lunch and two pretty boring powerpoint presentations by people from MARN and some other place. Friday was the same except the people from the government didn't show up, even though they were the ones in charge of the workshop, so I got to do more stuff with the group. And there was no electricity, so the people with powerpoint presentations had to improvise and actually gave a much better presentation.

Overall my experience with this workshop has shown me both good and bad ways about going about teaching other people. Sometimes the most educated people don't really get it. It was super frustrating when the two women who planned everything out didn't even show up for the second day of workshops. The NGO we're working with is fantastic at thinking about sustainability. They work with a municipality that will sustain an office focusing on environment and only stay with this office for a few years before pulling out their support. They know that they can't use their resources forever to support offices that the mayor should be paying to support, so they don't. However, they were paying for pretty much everything with this workshop-snack, lunch, supplies, diplomas. And they supplied most of the personnel on the second day. What will happen when they're gone? I'm not sure. Our 'Oficina Forestal' seems pretty set up with two people working there and their own office space. We'll see if they continue functioning once Helvetas pulls out next year.

The people with degrees who were from the ministry presented all this technical information to teachers of first and second graders. With an educational system that emphasizes regurgitating what you're taught, these teachers are not going to take this information and create a new lesson with it, especially since many of them slept through the presentation. So what we included, kind of without telling the ministry people, is for teachers to think a little more critically and come up with their own activities to do with trash, water and forests. We'll see what they come up with at the next workshop next week.

I also traveled to a neighboring town and helped a fellow volunteer give an HIV/AIDS taller to some middle schoolers. Peace Corps Guatemala receives some money for these workshops and they're a fun way to talk about sex with kids who really have nowhere else to ask questions. The curriculum has some space set aside for talking about the body and puberty, but most teachers are too uncomfortable with the subject to talk much about it. However, the workshop really needs to include a component talking about body parts and puberty, something that I will probably work on with some other volunteers during vacation from school. I also don't really understand why we get so much money for HIV/AIDS education here when the incidence is really quite minuscule. Other STIs are much more prevalent and more of a problem, as is teenage pregnancy. I just think we need to change our focus in this area.

And then I also traveled up to another volunteer's site in the mountains. We have this big grant we're applying for through the Ronald McDonald Foundation and it's been quite a process. Volunteers with Healthy Schools had the opportunity to choose schools that needed water projects and fill out applications with the principals of the schools, which they turned into the four of us who are on the Project Advisory Committee for Healthy Schools. I received fourteen applications, all of which I had to go through and make sure we had all of the correct information, photos, maps, contracts, etc. I've been working on this since May-ish when we visited some of my schools for a trial run about how the application process would work and just now sent the last batch of photos to the people who are the mediators between us and Ronald McDonald. Now we'll see whether or not they want to help fund 60 water projects in Guatemala. Five of my schools are in the running so it would be fantastic to get these funds and at least leave these projects for the next generation of volunteers.

So that was last week. The exhaustion didn't hit me until around 2:00 today. This week isn't going to be nearly as busy-just school visits and possibly an activity with one of my favorite schools on Friday.

Today was one of those days when the rain comes early and soaks clothes that were just about dry. That's the disadvantage to working in the morning-you often get home too late to take down clothes that were drying. So since I had no visit today, just work from home, I hung everything up and the rain managed to sneak in and catch me by surprise. I don't really know how my clothes will dry because I have school visits the rest of the week and hanging stuff up inside doesn't work because it's too damp inside my house. I guess I'll just hope that there is one sunny afternoon coming up soon.

I think that's it. I'll probably think of something I forgot to mention in an hour or so. Thanks for reading and have a great afternoon/evening!